Not quite an orphan, yet not quite part of a family...

"Barbie in Therapy" is about what Barbie would say if she ever were to talk to a therapist about her life.  She can't express feelings unless they are expressed via materialistic images.  Her personality was programmed in her.  She doesn't even know what anger is.
   "She never had time for any kind of childhood. 
     Not quite an orphan, yet not quite part of a family
     Barbie finds she's been given so little vocabulary
     to talk about her feelings."
Barbie has been forced to enter adulthood too early unlike Sue in Barbie's Queer Accessories (page 107-108).  Sue preferred Ken, but asked for a barbie.  Once she got her, Barbie was despised.  Sue wanted to go outside and leave "girl toys" inside.  Sue says, "I resented being supposed to do the girl thing all the time.  I wanted to do the boy stuff.  I think the Barbie thing was also about being treated as too young.  I was the youngest of four girls, and my family kept treating me as younger than I was...It was another example of how my family did not want to let me grow up."
   Barbie was forced into adulthood and Sue continuously was pushed into the childhood Barbie never had the chance to experience.  Totally different right?  Wrong.  Both were misfits to their families.  Both had little they could say to change the situation.  Funny how family works like that. 

I picked these passages mostly because I really liked the idea of Barbie being in therapy. It wasn't overly difficult to understand, but there were many hidden messages that spoke to me throughout the passage.  It just seemed to be in line with how I feel Barbie feels.  As soon as I read the line about her not quite fitting in, I thought of Sue and how her family treated her differently too.  Both books were interesting.  Barbie's Queer Accessories wasn't really my cup of tea, but it had a lot of information that was interesting in it.  But Kinky was more fun for me to read.  I liked the way the passages worked together to create a book that had meaning.  Reading one on its own was interesting, but felt empowered after reading several at a time.

MB & BO Readings and Reactions

I read "Experience" in Mondo Barbie and "My Brown Face" in Body Outlaws. 
"Experience" discusses how horrible Barbie feels about her own perfection.  She tells the author not to be like her, to be her own person.  "I know I look nice.  I'm what everyone wants.  I'm fulfillment, confection, art.  But Barbie said, You don't want it, just trust me."  The writer didn't look at Barbie and desire her perfection, instead she saw the sorrow in Barbie's contradicting, smiling face. 
     "My Brown Face" describes some of what it is like to be as admired as a barbie doll.  Writer, Mira Jacob, was a beautiful Indian woman.  Men couldn't stop from wanting her because she was so beautiful.  Like Barbie, Mira didn't want this kind of life.  This attention got to her, made her feel less important as a person.  She says at one point in the story, "Every part of my body had been itemized into comedic value, and a mere glance would set me smacking any tender portion into a window display, a caricature."
     The biggest difference between Barbie and Mira is that Mira can change herself.  Barbie has to keep her plastered smile, her pointy feet, and her boring personality.  Mira will always be Indian, and probably always beautiful and mysterious, however she can use her personality to be who she wants to be too.  She can change her own clothes, make her own friends, and go where she wants to go.  Mira is in charge of Mira. And near the end of "My Brown Face," Mira writes, "It is this woman (her perception of her) who is at the center of me, the one the men on the street will never see;  this woman who is simultaneously on fire and rising from the ashes."  She is working through her issues---and Barbie never can.  

Finding My Role

I am my mother's daughter and all I wanted since I was an infant was to grow up and be just like her.  I still admire everything about that woman.  Fortunately, my whole family must have been cool with the idea.  My mom is the mom everyone wants; she'll let you play in dirt piles all day, cook ya dinner, and kiss you goodnight without a second thought.  She wanted me to be a tom-boy, but be able to turn it on and off depending on each situation.  That was great with me.  I was able to play barbies and dress up right after I came in from skinning my knee from climbing a tree.  My religion (Catholicism) expected me to be well behaved, modest, and motherly as I grew up.  I was born with a want to be well-behaved.  I fit well into my socioeconomic class, my gender and my ethnicity were cool with me. I pretty much eased right into what everyone else wanted of me just naturally.   

I remember the look on my family's face when I told them that I wanted to be a high school cheerleader.  Ha!  It was priceless.  My brother told me I'd end up being a slut and that he couldn't have that.  My mom and dad were their usual selves in holding back his real feelings to support my decision, but I could see the fear in their eyes.  My mom later spoke with me privately having several very awkward conversations about my virginity and modesty.  I said, "Why can't I be the one to prove the stereotypes wrong?"  Looking back I can totally see that she knew me.  She knew I had always just done what other people asked me to do.  I am the naive girl that just wants everyone else to be happy.  Of course she didn't want me to be involved in a group who can easily be taken advantage of.  But my whole life I was told I could be anything I wanted to be and not to judge others based on stereotypes.  I was determined to prove everyone wrong.  And I did.

It was more important to me to be what my mom and my church and my friends wanted of me than what I wanted for myself.  I think that had a lot to do with who I became--who I am now.  I'm still told by numerous people that I let myself get walked all over, but I think you can view things in two different ways.  If it's going to improve someone else's quality of life, I'll suffer a while.  I know where my limits are and when to say no.  I am proud of being a woman, but mostly I'm just proud of being me.